A New Beginning
by CrissyAO
Summary: Alex/Olivia pairing. Established relationship and married. Alex is giving birth to she and Olivia's first child, and hopes that Olivia will make it there in time for the big moment.


_This is my first story. I am a HUGE Olivia/Alex shipper and I love the thought of them being together and having a family. This is something I came up with based on a dream I had. No chapters, just what I guess is called a one-shot. The premise is that Alex is giving birth to her and Olivia's child and hopes that Olivia will make it there in time for the birth. Kind of graphic description of childbirth, so be warned about that in case that bothers you. Hope you like the story and leave me a review if you have the time and like the story!_

I can't believe how much this hurts. I didn't think anything in this world could hurt this much. I feel like I'm dying. Actually, I'd welcome death with open arms right now.

"Fuck, this hurts _so damn badly,_" I cry, gripping Casey's hand tightly and squeezing the bed sheet with my other hand as another contraction seizes me. It's the worst one yet, and I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes closed, trying to breathe through it and remain calm. "God damn, I want this to be _over!_"

"It will be soon," Casey says encouragingly, smiling at me as the contraction subsides and I stop panting. She grabs the wet cold cloth from the stand next to the bed and dabs my sweaty forehead with it. "You're doing great. It's almost over."

I shoot her an evil look. "What the hell are you talking about?" I bark at her. "I still have to push a human being out of my vagina. It's far from over." Another contraction hits me and this time I don't even try to suppress my cry and I smack the bed railing as hard as I can with my free hand.

I lean forward with this contraction and Casey rubs my back soothingly. When it's over she eases me back down and offers me the cup of ice chips. I shake my head vigorously.

I know it's almost time to start pushing. The contractions are nearly on top of each other now, and when the nurse checked me nearly an hour ago I was at eight centimeters. I know that stage is going to hurt like hell, but I'm ready for it. That means this will be over quicker.

With my next contraction, something feels different. I feel immense pressure in my pelvic area, and the sharp pain actually takes my breath away. I gasp and squeeze Casey's hand so hard that I must be breaking her fingers. "Casey! Call the doctor! I think I have to push!"

"Alex, you should wait until –"

"Casey, _NOW_!"

She needs no further motivation. I reluctantly let go of her hand and she gets up from her chair so quickly that she nearly trips. I watch her disappear into the hall and suddenly I'm fighting with another contraction. This one is so bad that I raise my knees to my chest to try and make it bearable. But I can't – nothing is helping. I'm panting and sweating and crying and just ready to end this misery.

I wish Olivia was here. Why isn't she here yet? Casey called her hours ago. They should have been able to get her by now. She promised to be here for me. She promised to be my side when I bring our child into the world. I want her here. I _need _her here. I need her support, her strength.

Within minutes Casey returns with two nurses and Dr. Turner in tow. He immediately smiles at me and moves to the foot of the bed, quickly pulling on his latex gloves and crouching down between my legs. Normally I'd feel exposed and uncomfortable with a strange man looking at my woman parts. But right now, I welcome it. Anything to make this torture end.

I wince as he checks my progress. Casey is right back at my side and she takes my hand and tells me everything is going to be all right. I'm not sure I believe her at this point. My wife isn't here and I'm about to give birth without her – how is that okay?

"You're ten centimeters, Mrs. Cabot. What do you say we have a baby?" Dr. Turner asks with a smile.

I scowl at him. What is this _we _shit? It's all me. _Me _in this bed in agonizing pain, _me _about to push a watermelon sized baby out of a whole the size of a lemon. There is no _we _in this. He gets to crouch there with his gloves and watch my agony. But I don't vocalize how I feel. I just nod, sweat dripping down my forehead into my eyes.

Dr. Turner looks at Casey. "Would you like her to stay?"

I nod quickly. "She's my best friend. She stays."

I know I don't have to ask Casey. I know she'll stay with me. She wouldn't leave me now; not since Olivia isn't here and not since she's been here with me through the entire labor.

"Okay. On the next contraction I want you to push, okay?"

I nod again and wait for the inevitable pain. Before it hits, I look at Casey and ask, "Why isn't Olivia here yet?"

"I don't know, sweetie. I called her. She _is _on her way. She'll be here soon," Casey says softly, smiling at me. She can see the pain and fear in my eyes. "You just need to focus on this baby right now. I'm here with you. I won't leave you."

I start to say thank you, but I'm cut off by the most powerful and pain contraction yet. I cry out in agony and Dr. Turner yells at me to push as hard as I can. I can barely breathe – how am I supposed to push at the same time?

Somehow I manage to find the strength to push. And the pain just gets worse and worse. By the time the contraction ends and Dr. Turner tells me to stop pushing, tears are rolling down my cheeks. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough, it's too painful, and I can't do it without Olivia beside me.

"I-I can't do this!" I sob as Casey dabs my forehead again. My hair is clinging to my forehead and my neck and Casey quickly removes her hair tie and pulls my hair back for me. I'm thankful for that action – at least it won't be sticking to me or falling in my face.

"You _can _do this," Casey encourages. "You are the strongest person I know." She rubs my arm gently and smiles at me again.

The time to push comes again and I push as hard as I can, screaming the entire time. The pain is indescribable and I feel like I'm being torn in half. When the contraction finally ends and I relax, I'm panting so hard it takes me several seconds to catch my breath. When I do, I grab at Dr. Turner wildly and desperately say, "I want the epidural. I changed my mind. Give me the epidural! This hurts too much!"

"Mrs. Cabot, I'm afraid it's too late for that," Dr. Turner says calmly, obviously used to such outbursts and pleas from birthing mothers. "Next contraction, push again. We need to move this baby down."

The next contraction comes and I grunt and push as hard as I can. I feel more pressure in my pelvis, and I scream again. I'm holding Casey's hand in a death grip and I'm astonished she is not complaining about the pain I am inflicting on her. My best friend doesn't deserve that. It should be my wife who receives my death grip while bringing her child into the world.

I push for the next twenty minutes with no progress. I'm fully aware that first births can sometimes take _hours, _but I had hoped I would be one of the lucky women who got the baby out in two pushes. No such luck.

Dr. Turner tells me stop pushing and there is some activity between my legs as one of the nurses comes in for a look. I'm suddenly terrified that something is wrong, and I pull on Casey's hand. "Casey – is there something wrong with the baby?"

She looks down at the foot of the bed and back at me, trying to be reassuring but I can read her uneasy expression. "I'm sure they're just checking you out. The doctor would say if something was wrong."

I was told on many occasions that I have a narrow pelvis. What if I'm not able to give birth? What if I can't get the baby out? What if it gets stuck? I always assume the worst, but the worst is possible in this situation.

After several tense minutes, Dr. Turner asks me push again. Before I do, I ask him if anything is wrong. He just looks at me and says, "We need to get the baby crowning. I may have to cut you to assist in delivery."

That terrifies me, so on the contraction I gather all my strength and push with all my might, grunting and moaning. I feel a shift in my hips, and then an intense burning, like my vagina is on fire. It makes me gasp and take Casey's hand in a death grip again.

When the contraction ends, the pain lets up a little and Dr. Turner flashes a smile and says, "I saw the tip of the head that time. The next push should have your baby crowning. You're going to feel a lot of burning and you're going to want to stop pushing, but I need you to _not _stop. Keep pushing through the pain."

That's not what I wanted to hear at all, but I do as I'm told. I feel the contraction building and I take a deep breath and give it all I have. The pain is at its worst as I feel the baby's head forcing its way out slowly. It's so bad that I feel my knees shaking, and I start to pound the mattress with my free hand, all the while screaming and crying.

"Get this baby out _NOW! _Just fucking cut me open! Give me a c-section!" I relent, surrendering completely to this awful pain.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Cabot, but the baby has progressed too far down the birth canal for that. The head is starting to come out. Keep pushing, Mrs. Cabot. Every contraction. He comes out a little more with every push."

My next push the pain becomes so bad that I lurch forward in an attempt to make it somewhat bearable. I'm panting and sweating and crying as I struggle to birth my child.

Casey puts her arm around my back and squeezes my shoulders. "Come on, Alex. I know this hurts. But you can do it."

I pant loudly and manage to say to her, "I can't. I _can't._"

"Yes, you can. This is you and Olivia's child. You waited so long for him. You want to meet him. You can do this." She thinks for a minute, and then adds, "We all want to meet little Parker. Make it happen."

Even though I'm in agony, I manage to smile at the name Olivia and I chose for our son. Parker. I'm giving birth to Parker; our son. I'm going to be holding him soon.

That thought gives me the motivation I need to push – hard. This time I can literally feel the baby's stretching me. I can't suppress my scream as I feel myself stretch to the limit. Dr. Turner announces he has to cut me and I start pleading with him not to. I don't want this pain to be worse. But there's no choice, and I feel him cut me.

"Push harder," Dr. Turner instructs.

I can feel my face growing as red as a tomato as I push with all my might. My knees are shaking from my efforts. "What the hell do you think I'm doing?" I manage to bark out when I can suck in a breath.

I stop pushing for a few seconds to regain my strength and my breath. Sweat is dripping into my eyes again, and Casey quickly wipes it away and whispers to me that I'm doing well and I'm going to meet my son soon.

"Push again, Mrs. Cabot," Dr. Turner says again.

I flash him a look. "Stop telling me to push! I _know _to push!"

If I thought the pain was bad before, it's a thousand times worse now. There is _no _relief whatsoever. Before there was relief after a contraction ended and between pushes, but now the pain is constant. Contractions are one right after another, the baby's head is halfway out and I've been cut. There is no relief for me now. Only pain.

I struggle through three more pushes, not moving the baby much. My motivation disappeared when the pain increased. Pushing only makes it worse, and I can't take it.

I want to punch everyone in the face who says childbirth is beautiful. There is _nothing _beautiful about this. Sure I'm going to get a baby as a result, but right now it's all blood and pain, and the most physically difficult thing I've ever had to do.

After twenty more minutes of pushing and barely moving the baby, I'm ready to give up. I'm exhausted and I can't do this anymore. I have zero strength and motivation. I let my knees fall to the sides after my next push and announce I'm done. "I'm done – I can't do this. It's not working."

"Alex," Casey says, rubbing my back again. I suck a deep breath in and bite my lip until it bleeds as I look at her, struggling to keep from crying out again. "Alex, you're going to be okay. I know this hurts. But think how happy you're going to be when you see your baby."

I squeeze my eyes closed against the pain and burning I'm feeling in my lower region. I hold my legs closed – I'm not opening them again. This is ridiculous. I can't do this. I shake my head wildly and let a cry escape. "I _can't _do it, Casey! I need Olivia!" I burst into tears. Not just from the pain – but also from Olivia not being here, for missing the birth of her child, for not being here to support me when I need it the most.

Parker is going to be an only child. I am _never, ever _do this again. If Olivia wants another child, we will adopt, she can carry the baby and give birth, or we'll use a surrogate. There is no way in hell I am putting my body and myself though this again.

"Mrs. Cabot," Dr. Turner says sternly from the foot of the bed. "You _have _to get this baby out. The longer he stays in, the higher the risk of stress to him and you as well. I'm afraid you have no choice."

I shake my head again, and this time when Casey goes to tighten her arm around my shoulders, I shrug her off me. I don't want her touching me now. I don't want Dr. Turner touching me now. I don't want _anyone _touching me. I want this baby out, the pain to end, and I want my wife.

At that moment I hear the door to the delivery room open. Before I can turn my head to see what's going on, I hear the sweetest sound in the world – my wife's voice. "Alex! Oh my God, I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner!"

Within seconds she's at my side. I immediately grab her and sob, and she takes Casey's place on the bed next to me and wraps me in her arms. "Oh, baby. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I wasn't here!" I can hear regret and tears in her voice. I don't want her to feel guilty. She's here now, and that's all that matters.

My momentary joy over seeing my favorite person on this planet is cut short by an immense pain; my son demanding my attention and reminding me that he still needs to enter this world. I grab Olivia's arm and cry out, squeezing her as tightly as I can and moaning.

"I'm sorry, but you both can't be in here," one of the nurses says, looking between Olivia and Casey.

"She's Alex's wife – I'll step out," Casey says quickly. She's probably relieved she's being spared any more crushed fingers and the possibility of going deaf from my screaming.

Olivia is smoothing my hair back, and she turns to look at Casey as she moves away from the bed. "Thanks for being with her, Casey. I really appreciate it."

Before Casey can answer, I reach out for her hand and call her name softly. She quickly steps up to me and takes my hand. I can barely talk against the pain, but I manage to get out, "You're great and you really helped me. Stick around so you can meet your nephew."

Casey's eyes light up when I say that, and she smiles. "Of course I will. I'll be right outside." She leans in and kisses me on the cheek, giving my hand a squeeze before she steps away. "I know you can do this. I'll see you soon."

As soon as she's out the door, we get back to business. Olivia talks me into spreading my legs again and I put my feet in the uncomfortable stirrups and prepare to completely surrender to the pain again.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here with you. We're doing this together," Olivia keeps saying, her voice sure and steady as she rubs my back.

Hearing her voice so calm and comforting seems to give me strength. She takes my hand and I squeeze her with all my might. It's her turn to have crushed fingers. But she gives no reaction to what I'm inflicting upon her. Instead, she continues her calm mantra and tells me how much she loves me.

I push again, and I can feel the baby sliding out a bit more. The pain is at its worst, and I cry as I grunt with the effort to get him out. I look down at my round contracting belly and see it sinking down a little every time I push. My body is trying to assist in the birth. I wish it would put forth more effort.

Several pushes later, I stop to rest. I struggle to catch my breath, and I feel nauseated. Olivia leans her forehead against mine and takes both of my hands as I pant wildly. "You're so beautiful, Alex," she tells me, releasing one hand and stroking my cheek gently. "So, so beautiful."

Yeah, right. I'm drenched in sweat, as big as a whale, and I have no makeup on. I'm sure I'm _real _attractive.

"It hurts so goddamn much," I sob, leaning against my wife. "Please let this be over." I really regret not getting that epidural. Casey had tried to talk me into it when I was offered the option, but I declined because I didn't want myself or my baby to be drugged. I wanted to be aware of everything, and I wanted my baby to be awake and alert. I wish I had listened to her. I would gladly offer up any amount of money for some pain relief right now. Someone could knock me over the head with a wooden board and I'd be happy and content. I'd love them forever.

"This baby is stubborn," I pant out. "He needs to come out _now. _He's killing his mother."

Olivia laughs. "He's a Cabot, for sure. Stubborn, just like his mom. She holds me close and kisses my neck as I prepare to push again. She runs her hand down my arm. "Hard, baby. Push hard. I want to meet our son."

I do as she says, grunting again as I give it my all. The burning in my vagina increases and I know I've moved the baby out more. I scream as I continue to push, and Dr. Turner tells me I'm doing well and to keep pushing until he tells me to stop.

When he tells me stop, Dr. Turner asks Olivia if she'd like to have a look at our son entering the world. Olivia looks at me, as if seeking permission. I nod quickly, and she goes down to the foot of the bed to have a look. A smile forms across her beautiful face, ear-to-ear, as she comes back to me and kisses me.

"Oh, Alex! He has hair! Blonde hair! He's so beautiful!"

Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of a baby boy with blonde hair. Happy tears. For a moment, I forget the pain I'm in. "He has hair?" I ask, my voice dripping with emotion. I can't wait to see him!

Olivia nods at takes my hand. "Want to feel him?"

I look at her in anticipation and nod. She gently guides my hand to my vaginal region. "This is your son. _Our _son. He's so perfect."

I can feel him. He feels wet and soft as I stroke his hair, tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm touching my son. Aside from when I married Olivia, this is the happiest moment of my life. All this pain I've gone through the past few hours has been validated. I have a son; and he's going to be here soon. I'm going to be holding him in my arms.

Dr. Turner gives us a few minutes before he interrupts again. "Mrs. Cabot, on the next push the head should be completely out. Then we have to work the shoulder through. That's the most difficult part, so I need you to focus and push when I say so, okay?"

I nod. I'm suddenly filled with newfound motivation. I want to hold that baby. I want to talk to him, to have his little fingers wrap around my hand. I want to rock him and watch him sleep. I'm ready to be a mother, because I have the most wonderful person at my side.

On Dr. Turners instruction, I push again. He counts to ten, and at seven my cries take on a higher intensity as the widest part of my son's head passes through me. I squeeze Olivia's hand and cry and grunt until Dr. Turner tells me to stop pushing.

"The head is out. Take a moment to catch your breath, and then we need to move the shoulders through. When you're ready, I need a _very _hard push. You have a large baby, Mrs. Cabot. Let's get him out."

I mentally prepare myself for what I know is coming. I'm terrified and elated at the same time. I'm focused on the grand prize as the end of this struggle, and I hang onto that. My wife tightens her grasp on me and whispers, "You can do this, Alex. Let's meet our son. I love you so much, baby. You're incredible."

The next few minutes are a blur. I push so hard that I feel like I'm going to pass out. My vision actually tunnels as I focus all my attention on pushing. I can hear myself grunting and screaming but the only sound I'm really listening to is my wife encouraging me and telling me that this battle is almost won.

Without warning, I feel the worst pain of my life and I scream so loudly that I'm afraid I'll deafen everyone in the room. But it lasts only seconds, and then the pain is over. Just like that – it completely stops.

At first I don't realize what has happened. There's no way so awful pain can stop that suddenly and quickly. It's such a relief that I fall back against my pillow, thanking God for the sweet relief and finally calming down and taking normal breaths.

And then I hear it – my son's cry. My face lights up and I start to cry. He's here! I did it! I brought him into this world.

"Congratulations, ladies – you have a healthy baby boy," Dr. Turner says with a smile, and he places our son on my stomach.

I reach for him immediately as Olivia starts crying beside me. As soon as I have him in my arms, I know he was worth every second of the pain I suffered through to have him. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm crying in happiness now as I hug him to my chest and say, "Hello, Parker. You're so beautiful."

Olivia kisses me and looks down at our baby. We both gaze at each other with teary eyes. "He has blue eyes, Olivia. Look at his blue eyes!"

She nods and I watch tears run down her cheek as she touches our son. "Just like you. He's perfect, Alex. He's so perfect. You did such a good job, baby."

I hold Parker for several minutes, looking him over. I'm in awe of his beauty. He's looking into my eyes, as if he understands who I am. I smile at him. I've never felt such instant love to another living thing. He's only minutes old, and I already love him more than anything else on this planet. I already know I'd give my life for him.

I hand him over to Olivia so she can hold him, and I smile at the gorgeous sight of my wife holding our so. She talks to him, her voice choked as she tells him how much she loves him and how long she waited to have a child. I already know she's going to be a great mother. She was made for it.

A few minutes later today, Dr. Turner tells us they have to take Parker to weigh him and get him cleaned up, and I need to be stitched up from the birth. I cry as they take my son away – I don't want him to be away from me, even for a second.

Dr. Turner helps me deliver the placenta. I'm afraid it's going to be difficult, but it slides out with one push with barely any pain. I guess after pushing a baby out anything is easy. As soon as the placenta is delivered, the nurses start to clean me up for my stitches.

Olivia is still looking into my eyes, keeping my attention as the stitching process begins. I barely feel a thing. I don't know if they've numbed me down there or if I can't feel a thing because of the stretching and cutting that went on. All I know is that I'm focused on my wife and thinking about the wonderful future we're going to have with our son.

"You did so good, Alex. I'm so proud of you," Olivia tells me, peppering my neck with her sweet kisses. "I'm sorry it was so painful."

I smile at her. "It's okay. Parker was worth it. But if we decide to have another, I think I'm getting the epidural next time."

It's funny, in the middle of the painful and difficult person I was telling myself that I would _never _put myself through such misery and torture again. I was condemning Parker to be an only child. But after seeing him and experiencing pure joy just by looking at him, I know I would. It's an indescribable happiness to see your child for the first time.

Olivia smiles and kisses me again. "I like the sound of that."

Thirty minutes later our son is cleaned up and returned to us. He's wrapped in a blue blanket, and looks as beautiful as ever. He has stopped crying for now and looks deliriously happy and curious about his surroundings.

"Nine pounds exactly, ladies," the nurse says with a smile as she hands him to me. "A big baby. Congratulations."

I'm shocked that he's that big. How was I able to push a nine pound baby out of my body? It seems impossible. No wonder it was so painful and took such a long time.

The nurse informs us she will assist in his first feeding after we've had some bonding time. Before she leaves the room, I raise my head and ask, "Can we have a visitor? My best friend is here and she helped me through the labor and half of the birth – I'd like her to meet our son."

The nurse smiles and tells us that will be fine, and says she'll send Casey in.

"I got here as quickly as I could," Olivia tells me. "I literally got Casey's message forty minutes before I got here. I was out on a case with Nick and neither of us got a signal on our phones. I got the voicemail as we were driving back to the precinct, and I panicked and screamed at Nick to bring me here." She laughs a little. "I think I kind of scared him."

I laugh along with her as Parker relaxes in my arms. "Casey was in the middle of court when I went to get her after my water broke. I told her I couldn't get a hold of you and I was in labor and needed to go to the hospital. She literally grabbed her briefcase and ran out of the courtroom without saying anything to Petrovsky. But I'm sure she'll understand. Speaking of that, you should call everyone and give them the news. I'm sure everyone is waiting is hear."

Olivia nods, and at the moment Casey comes in. She approaches the bed slowly, her eyes on Parker as she smiles. "Oh my God, he's beautiful! And so big!"

She stops next to the bed and I slowly hand the baby over. She seems surprised but gladly holds him, grinning as she looks him over. "He's nine pounds. Alex did very well," Olivia tells her.

She turns her attention away from the baby long enough to look at me. "_Nine _pounds? Wow."

"Yeah, tell me about it," I laugh. "Sorry about the screaming. And your crushed fingers. Are you able to use your hand?" I joke.

Casey smiles at me. "It's no problem, Alex. You're my best friend. I wasn't going to leave you. Crushed fingers was nothing compared to what you were going through." She looks Parker over again. "This is just a gorgeous baby. He looks so much like you! And he's so calm. Not squirming or crying or anything."

I reach out and stroke Parker as Casey is holding him. "Parker, this is your Aunt Casey. She's going to spoil you."

Casey smiles as I say that. She doesn't have any siblings and she and I like sisters, so it only makes sense that she would be Aunt Casey. She turns to me with tears in her eyes and says, "Thank you. I like that."

"I'm so appreciative for you being here, Casey," Olivia thanks her again. "I'm glad Alex didn't have to be alone."

Casey hands Parker back to me and before I have a chance to hold him again, his other mommy nabs him. I can't say as I blame her – who wouldn't want to hold such a perfect human being? Olivia looks adorable holding him. I have never seen such a radiant smile.

"Poor Casey – I inflicted such abuse upon her," I tell Olivia in amusement. "She had to endure labor with me. I believe I called her 'stupid' on more than one occasion, and I threw ice chips at her. Not to mention nearly breaking her hand in a death grip when the birth started. You owe her a _huge _thank you for taking the abuse that should have been yours."

Olivia looks up at Casey and asks, "Was she horrible?"

Casey looks at me before she answers. "Well, yes. She was," she admits with a laugh. "But it's understandable, and I'm glad I was able to be there. I don't regret it at all. That baby is precious. I am so happy for you guys."

Casey stays a few more minutes, and before she leaves I ask her to call everyone and give them the good news and to promise them all that Olivia and I will bring the baby in to show off as soon as we can.

As soon as we're alone again, Olivia sits down on the bed next to me and we rest our heads together and bask in the feeling of family as we watch our son nearly falling asleep in my arms. I'm rocking him gently as Olivia talks to him.

"This is going to be great, you know," Olivia tells me, never taking her eyes off Parker. "Motherhood. I'm sure we'll have challenges, but I've never been happier. We're going to provide a good home for Parker. And maybe in the future, a brother or sister."

My eyes fill with tears I look at my beautiful wife. "I have never been this happy, Liv. I didn't think it was possible to be this happy. I never thought I'd be married to get to have a child. You've given me everything. You and Parker are the most incredible things on this earth. I love you both with all my heart and soul. Thank you for this wonderful, perfect life."

Olivia breaks down in happy tars and gives me a kiss. "You're the best thing in my life. Thank you for the beautiful son. I can't wait to bring him home."

A day that started out stressful and pain-filled has ended in the perfect way – my wife sitting next to me with our son in our arms, thinking about the future and knowing we're going to be together forever.

_Please tell me if this was good and I may do another!_


End file.
